"Movies - now more than ever!" - Studio slogan from THE PLAYER (1991)
Today for no reason in particular we present our panels picks for ...
FILM BABBLE'S TOP 50 WORST MOVIES OF THE LAST 30 YEARS :
We tried to steer clear of sequels or series movies and go for the stand alone one shot movie messes. Enjoy!
1. BATTLEFIELD EARTH (2000) - So bad none of us could get through the whole thing even as a Mystery Science Theater 3000 joke time yell-a-thon. It other words so bad it's not funny. Travolta squeezes dry his coolness factor as he overstays his 90's comeback welcome with this collasal piece of L. Ron Hubbard space opera nonsense.
2. 15 MINUTES (2001) If only this movie was just 15 minutes. Horrible stupid preachy supposed statement on the media's love for violence. What this movie is saying is disguised with manipulative violent bloody in your face reasoning. In the end you'll feel like you've been beaten up by somebody yelling that they are a pacifist. Robert Deniro, Edward Burns, and even Frasier himself - Kelsey Grammer take part in this fiasco.
3. SCOOBY DOO (2002)- Everyone thought the original cartoon was crap even when I was seven that was understood so why on Earth was this made?!!? Oh yeah - the geniuses at Warner Bros. figured that 70's retro retread mania merged with fake irony might mean kids will pay big to see a CGI talking dog solve mysteries with a bunch of Generation Y'ers TV stars. They were right it did clean up. Disturbing, yes but the fact that the sequel tanked comforts me just a little bit.
4. DISCLOSURE (1994) - God awful strained office place sexual harrasment drama with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore. The twist is she's harrassing him! There's also some high tech corporate thriller nonsense intertwined - I can't remember exactly how and I'm not going back to watch it so let's just leave it at that.
5. ISHTAR (1987) Infamous flop. Let's put Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty as untalented nightclub singers in the desert with a script by Elaine May and we can't fail! Well guess what...
6. THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE (1997) - Famous NY Times critic Pauline Kael admitted in one her last interviews that she kind of liked this movie, that it has a hamboned quality to it. I can almost see what she's talking about - it is more likably bad than others on this list but we still have to say that it's a one way street to Suck City! Idealistic young lawyer Keanu Reeves goes to work for a high powered firm run by Al Pacino who turns out to be Satan himself. Uh huh, you read me right. It's that simple, stupid and and savagely gruesome.
You can understand why we didn't want to write about most of the rest of the list can't you?
7. MAD CITY (1997)
8. THE HULK (2003)
9. ED TV (1999)
10. THE LAST ACTION HERO (1993)- Thank God Arnold Schwarzenegger can't be President.
11. DEATH TO SMOOCHY (2003)
12. VERY BAD THINGS (1998)
13. WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? (2000)
14. 1941 (1979)
15. BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES (1989)
16. LOST IN SPACE (1998)
17. THE RING (2002)
18. FRESH HORSES (1988)
19. PHONEBOOTH (2003)
20. TIE - SHOWGIRLS (1995)/BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN - AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM(1997) - The king of bad movie screenwriting - Joe Ezterhas (also known for such tripe as BASIC INSTINCT, HEARTS OF FIRE, and SLIVER) was responsible for both of these monstousities.
21. FATHER'S DAY (1997)
22. MEDICINE MAN (1992) - Dr. Robert Campbell (Sean Connery) yells at Lorraine Braco "What don't you understand? I found the cure for the fucking plague of the twentieth century and now I've lost it. Haven't you ever lost anything doctor Bronx? Your purse? Your car keys? Well, it's rather like that: Now you have it and now you don't." Says it all, huh?
23. PATCH ADAMS (1998)
24. HOWARD THE DUCK (1986)
25. AIR FORCE ONE (1997)
26. HOT TO TROT (1989)
27. THE MONEY PIT (1984)
28. TIE : WATER WORLD (1994) / THE POSTMAN (1997)
29. SPACEBALLS (1997)
30. TANGO & CASH (1989)
31. PAY IT FORWARD (2000)
32. GIGLI (2003)
33. SGT. BILKO (1996)
34. SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)
35. RAT RACE (2001)
36. COOL AS ICE (1990)- Vanilla Ice's first and last movie. All you need to do about it is that it gave society the immortal pick-up line "drop the zero and get with the hero."
37. THE CAT IN THE HAT (2003)
38. WILD WILD WEST (1998)
39. TWINS (1989)
40. POPEYE (1979)
41. GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADSTREET (1983)
42. GODZILLA (1998)
43. ARMAGEDDON (1998)
44. HEARTBEEPS (1981)
45. SOUL MAN (1986)
46. THE LAST MOVIE (1971)
47. THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE (2003)
48. COCKTAIL (1988)
49. THE BLACK HOLE (1979)
50. BEST DEFENSE (1984)
HONORABLE MENTION :
THE SINGING DETECTIVE (2003)
More later...
is the Green Art Nail
